You can find the audio podcast and a slightly different video version of this post at the bottom of this page. Today I’m going to talk about what is putting you at risk. This is the first chapter in my new book self-help for at risk teens. In the first chapter I talk about what is putting you at risk and in the second chapter I expand on these topics and talk about what you’re at risk of.
We all know life isn’t always fair. We are all born into different circumstances. Why do some people have it better than others? There is really no one answer to this question. As a baby we don’t get a choice about what our lives are like, but once we get old enough to know what’s going on, it’s our job to take control of our situation. The term at-risk doesn’t need to be a bad thing, it’s only a negative if you let it be. I
If you don’t know your risk, you could suffer the consequences before you even know what has happened. If you understand up front that you are at risk, you could better prepare yourself for handling different situations when they show up. If you don’t know right from wrong, your behavior will reflect it. Looking back now, I can see the warning signs, they were all around me, I just didn’t notice him because I wasn’t paying attention.
If you haven’t read the book yet, I’ll fill you in a little bit about why I was at risk growing up. I came from a broken home, my father left when I was three and was never in my life. He passed away suddenly when I was ten years old. I was raised by a single mother my whole life and not having a father figure in my life really put me at risk because I had a real lack of discipline. My mother tried really hard to raise me and my brother right and she did her best, but unfortunately she was little too soft when it came to discipline. I wasn’t never really punished for my bad behavior.
My troubles really started to show when I was in fifth grade and I was expelled from elementary school because of my behavior. I didn’t realize why I was acting out and why I had these issues. I continued to have behavior problems well into the future and never really addressed these issues. Over the next several years after having been expelled, my problems just continue to grow. Part of the reason why I created this blog, started my podcast and wrote the Self-Help for At-Risk Teens book is to help you become aware of the fact that you are at risk if you have been exposed to certain situations.
I’ll talk about a few of the more common situations that could be putting you at risk, but of course the list is much longer than I could possibly cover because we’re all unique in our own way and I can’t possibly know everything you myt be going through, but I’m going to cover some of this stuff that I’ve gone through personally. So, here are just a few of the situations that could be putting you at risk.
You may come from a broken home where you’re only being raised by one parent and just not being disciplined, or you may just not have much structure in your life. Depending on whether you’re a boy or a girl, whether you’re being raised by a mother or father, the situation is going to vary and how it could affect you is going to vary. Just be aware of the fact that you are at risk because of only having one parent your life. Because it often does take two parents in a lot of situations, both parents bring a unique perspective to a young person’s life and if you are lacking that aspect of the relationship it could have some negative effects.
You may need to seek out an aunt or an uncle or someone else to give you the relationship you are lacking from the parent that you don’t have. Try to find a way to connect with someone else who can provide that structural, guidance, or just that shoulder to lean on when you need some advice.
The next situation that could be putting you at risk is either divorce or separation. This can be creating a lot of uncertainty in your life. You don’t know if they’re going to stay together or if they’re going to live separately. You don’t know if you’re going to have to go between two houses or how the relationship will be moving forward. The thoughts going through your mind in itself could be putting it at risk. Because you may have a tendency to act out or misbehave to get some extra attention.
This particular set of circumstances could be putting you at risk so be aware of it and try to adjust to it in a way that will help you understand what’s going on. Ask questions and really just try to help yourself grow through the situation instead of trying to rebel against it and I think that will help you.
The next topic is the a lack of education, whether it be because you have been moving around a lot and not being in school or some other circumstance that may have put you in jeopardy. For whatever reason you’re not going to school and getting an education, even if it is out of your control, it is putting you at risk. Not getting a proper education can dramatically affect your future.
If you’re registered and you go, but you just don’t participate, now that’s totally on you for not taking the necessary action. Participate and get that education because without an education you are at risk of a lot of different things. In the future, you will have a lot of missed opportunities because of that not having that education So, if you’re currently in school and you’re just not participating and your sitting in the classroom just drawings and doing stuff that doesn’t pertain to the lessons, that’s something that you can totally correct. If you’re skipping classes and hanging outside and not going into the building, these are totally controllable issues and it would be in your best interest to really start to take school more seriously. When you’re a teenager, high school is your job. Learning is a very important part of growing up and it would really benefit you to continue to get your education.
You may have unfortunately lost a parent, he or she may have passed away or you just don’t have a relationship with them. When any young person is faced with this situation, it could cause a wide variety of issues with lasting effects that can put you at risk. I personally have had this experience and I understand what type of issues I’ve had as a result of it. I reacted in all the wrong ways. Instead of seeking out grief and loss groups and really trying to get counseling, I just acted out, committed crime, and used illegal substances.
All this did was make my problems worse, they made my life worse. Instead of trying to learn how to properly raise myself and become an adult, I got sucked into the street life and looked up to drug dealers and thieves. This type of mentality totally made my life worse, and because of it, which I talk about a lot throughout the book, I became a juvenile delinquent and I was sent to a court appointed high school and then I was put in a juvenile program.
I did eventually wind up getting grief and loss counseling, years after my parents passed away when I was in the juvenile program. This counseling was very helpful but had I not been in the program I would have never gotten the help I needed. A lot of times it’s up to you to seek this stuff out, because people don’t know what you need if you don’t tell them about what’s going through your mind. If you don’t realize you need counseling, you may not seek it out on your own.
So, if you’ve gone through the unfortunate situation where you have lost a parent, family member, a friend or anyone close to you, going to grief and loss counseling can help you. I highly encourage you to seek some treatment.
The next topic I’m going to talk about is something that I really didn’t experience too much myself, but I have heard a few stories recently from California, just outside Silicon Valley. This story was about a bunch of rich kids who were experiencing so much pressure from their parents to achieve high grades, get a certain GPA, and live up to these certain standards that the pressure was so overwhelming that they were beginning to hurt themselves and do all these things that you would just never expect someone with a lot of money to have to go through.
For me, we grew up with no money and there was no pressure to get good grades but if you’re someone who is experiencing pressure, whether it’s for getting good grades or to get a certain type of a job or attend a certain type of a school and you’re working really hard towards it but you just can’t quite meet that expectation, just try your hardest and do your best. I think it’s important that you explain to the people putting this pressure on you, that you’re working your hardest you’re doing your best but you just can’t quite meet that expectation and that they need to cut you some slack.
I don’t think it’s fair for you to have to feel like you can’t live up to the expectation or you’re feeling all this pressure and you just can’t do it and you’re starting to feel like you’re not worthy or you’re starting to think less of yourself. I think that’s totally unfair and I personally think that you need to just work as hard as you can to achieve the goals you set and if you can’t get there don’t stress about it. Not everyone can be a straight A student or not everyone can get into a certain school. I really think that you just need to bring the bar down a little bit and just live up to whatever your true potential is and if your potential is just to get a high school education with no college or anything else then that’s perfectly fine.
There are other ways to get an education besides college. Too much pressure can put an enormous amount of stress on you and if you’re constantly trying to live up to someone else’s expectations, you may begin to feel like you’re not doing enough or living up to someone else’s vision of what you should be. This is not healthy for you, so have a serious conversation with the person who’s putting the pressure on you explain to them that you’re going to make all the sacrifices you can and work as hard as you can and do your best that’s all you can do and it would really appreciate it if it would just stop being so critical of you so you won’t be so stressed out.
All of these at-risk situations are not roadblocks, they’re just speedbumps, signs you will need to mature faster, and work harder to help your situation get better. By becoming the best person, you can be, you can help yourself overcome these obstacles and live the life of your dreams.
I encourage you to become aware of what’s going on in your life, and take control of what you can control and if it’s out of your control, you have to just let it go. Become the best version of yourself through self-improvement. Start watching inspirational videos, listen to inspiring audios, read books about people who have overcome great odds in our lives and who have overcome great obstacles to achieve their dreams and hopefully that will inspire you to know that anything is possible.
I encourage you to strive to become the best version of yourself you can be. I’m going to do everything I can to continue to provide you with information and content that will help you along your journey. I hope this was helpful, please subscribe to this blog and the Self-Help for At-Risk Teens podcast so you can continue to receive notifications of these posts and episodes as they become available. You can also receive 4 of the most influential personal-development books ever written for free by joining my email list at www.TheSelfHelpCompany.com
I look forward to connecting with you again real soon. Continue to think positive, stay positive and have yourself a great day!
