Why self-help works for some people and not for others.
I was asked in a recent radio interview, why some people have success using self-help and personal development materials, and others do not. My answer comes from personal experience, and from working with teams of people in network marketing. The first thing about personal improvement is that a person must want to change something about themselves. People won’t change because someone else wants them to, they will only make the necessary changes when they are really ready to do it for themselves.
When a person buys a self-help book, the difference between those who get results from it, and those who don’t, are that some people apply what they learn, and others do not. Most of these types of books suggest that you do things that may be uncomfortable, or unfamiliar to you. Trying something new can be difficult for many people. if someone is not familiar with self-help information, and they pick up a random book to become better in a certain area of their life, they may not have the foundation to make sense of it. For example, If a person buys a book to learn how to make more money but doesn’t have any confidence in themselves, or they believe that it’s not possible for them, they may not even finish the book.
Let’s look at some other reasons why.
This leads me to one of the other biggest reasons I see people not have the desired results, is that they never finish the book. Many books are structured in a way that you must read the whole thing to get the maximum benefit. If you only read the first half, you’re only getting half of the message. There have been many studies done about how many people never finish books they start reading, and the numbers are pretty high. So, if you ask the people who say the books didn’t work, did they read the whole thing, there is a good chance they will say no.
Many self-help books include exercises at the end of each chapter. It is highly recommended that you do these exercises to achieve the maximum benefit of the information included in that chapter. If you read the book without doing the exercises, this is another reason why you may not believe the book was helpful. Just reading the information will not always help you. You must take the action steps that are suggested in the book to achieve the desired results in most cases. Reading the information is helpful in knowing how to do something, but taking the action is how you get the results you’re looking for. Apply the information into your life and test it out firsthand before you tell someone that it didn’t work.
Do you read reviews?
Before buying a book, most people read some of the reviews. This can be a double-edged sword for several reasons. First, you don’t know who these reviewers are. Second, you don’t know if they applied the information they read in the book. If you read reviews and they are mostly positive, then there is a good chance that what the majority of people are saying is true. If most of the reviews are negative and say the book was not helpful, there is a good chance that you can believe the majority and take their word for it. But when you have a bunch of mixed reviews with some people saying the information was helpful, and others saying that it wasn’t helpful, this grey area is where you may have to do a little more research.
You may want to take a look inside the book to read the introduction and to read more about the author to see if their style is right for you. Not all books are created equal. Not all authors write good books. So, if you have read one bad self-help book, and it left a bad taste in your mouth, you may never want to read another one again. Don’t let one bad book discourage you from finding the good ones that are out there.
If you are committed to becoming better in a specific area of your life, do your research before deciding who is best to help you. I suggest searching the topic online to see whose name keeps popping up. Then go watch some YouTube videos of that person to see if you like their style. Some people have a great message but if you don’t like their style of delivering it, it will be a struggle to read their book. Many non-fiction authors write the way they speak. So, watching them in a video will give you an idea of the way they deliver their message. Pay attention to see if they are funny, witty, use personal experience, use statistics, or if they are delivering their message like a strict college professor. Look for a person with a style you can relate to and will enjoy listening to or reading their work. Sometimes the message can get lost in the delivery.
There are good books out there.
In the fourteen years that I have been reading self-help and personal development books, I have sifted through the bad ones to find the ones that have been able to help me. I can attest to the fact that my experience has been a positive one. I have changed my life for the better because of the books that I have read and the knowledge that I have applied to my life. I continue to invest in myself daily through books, audiobooks, podcasts, watching inspirational and educational videos. The better I become, the more I have to offer to the world.
There is no better investment than the one you will make into yourself. Self-improvement is a journey, not a destination. Never stop learning and continue to improve yourself a little bit more every day.
You deserve to have it all,
Ben Povlow
